Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Should I give my Bar/Bat MItzvah DJ a Playlist?

Should I give my Wedding DJ & Bar MItzvah DJ a Playlist?

Planning a San Diego Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah can be a daunting task with details abounding everywhere. To make it worse everyone has an opinion about how things should be handled. It can be a very tense time so it’s of the up most importance to hire competent professionals who can help you plan your event. Good advice doesn’t cost; it pays.

Every Bar Mitzvah and Bar Mitzvah understandably wants their party to be perfect and, most realize or at least should, that the DJ is a critical choice that will shape the entire event. The DJ will make or break your party.

He is the front person at your Bar or Bat Mitzvah. They generally attend to the announcements and the special events at the event. It’s his job to keep the focus and spotlight on the kid … after all, it’s their special day. The music that’s chosen will greatly impact the success of the celebration.

First realize people’s goals and desires are different. Not everyone envisions a Bar / Bat Mitzvah event where all guests are up partying and dancing up a storm while for others the party is paramount. It all depends on what you want and what your vision is for your Bar / Bat Mitzvah Event. That’s why it’s important to choose a DJ who both understands what you want and whose personal style is able to deliver it.

Because of the importance of choosing the right music for the right event to set the right mood, many kids decide they want to give their DJ a complete playlist of tunes that will be played throughout the evening. Now, as far as DJ’s go, there are two schools of thought on this. I subscribe to the latter.

The first says that since the kids (I mean kids parents) are paying the bill they should be able to choose all the music if they so desire. These DJ’s say, “Sure, I’ll play whatever music you choose. Just make a list and I’ll play through it.” While less confrontational and seemingly more helpful, they’ve just transferred the job of running the party to the kids, which is, ostensibly, what they seem to be asking for.

The second school of thought goes like this: I’ve been a DJ for 15 years and because every event is different with a unique blend of guests and musical tastes, even with my extensive experience I wouldn’t feel confident choosing all the music prior to the event. There’s just no way to predict how a party will go before it begins.

While I have worked with a few clients who asserted that, “this is our party, we’re paying for it and we want to hear the music we like,” most often kids want their guests to have input into the party also and want a DJ who can nurture a tiny seed of a party until it breaks out into a mighty celebration.

You probably wouldn’t go to your attorney, doctor or auto mechanic and tell them in advance exactly what you want them to do because, hopefully, you’re dealing with people you trust and whose advice you value and want to follow. When you give your DJ a complete playlist for the evening you’re really saying, “I don’t think I trust you enough to choose good music for my party.” Hmmm. Maybe it’s time to find someone else to work with whom you do trust.

What a DJ brings to the table is the experience of having presided over hundreds, maybe thousands, of similar parties and has developed the unique ability to read the crowd, gauge the direction they’re moving in and help lead them happily down the path they’ve chosen. Most times having the flexibility to guide the party by letting the guests guide the DJ worked best. To do otherwise might be like trying to fit a size nine foot into a size six shoe.

So, what should you do? Doesn’t the Bar & Bat Mitzvah kids have the right to help choose the music? Of course they do.

I’d never suggest that the client should have no input into the music played at their own party. But I would suggest they choose seven or eight of their personal favorites and then give the DJ some guidelines to follow such as don’t play rap, country or hip-hop at our event or, perhaps, play hip-hop or rap only if family members ask and then do so only sparingly. Guidelines are extremely helpful in that a DJ knows the limits and can choose the very best music within them.

Another quick suggestion while I’m still on my crazed rant. Try to keep your “Do Not Play” list as tiny as possible. I’ve seen couples literally suck the life out of their own parties, parties they desperately want to be successful, by banning the very songs people expect at a wedding.

Remember, Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe may not be the hip nightclub set you’re used to hanging out with. For them, the YMCA may be the height of a great time. If it’s on the banned list, the party suffers when they don’t participate. It’s really about a compromise between what seems corny and what keeps the party going.

Several of the best bar & Bat Mitzvah parties I’ve done had the least likely people dancing wildly to such unsavory tunes. My choices? No way. But they loved it. Afterward, in each case, the client wrote to tell me how pleased she was that so many of her guests had called to tell her they thought their Bar/Bat Mitzvah party was one of the best they had ever attended. Go figure.

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